2 Thessalonians 3:5: And the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patient waiting for Christ.
Lamentation 3:25: The Lord is good unto them that wait for him to the soul that seeketh him.
Lord here I am 21 years old, flunking out of school, not having faith in any higher power and I only want to sleep my life away. I don’t want to wake up until I am in a relationship with the man that I am in love with. Did I mention that man is not mine? His heart belongs to two other girls that may or may not know about me. Yet, somehow I keep chasing him after I read somewhere that a woman is not supposed to chase a man. Every night this man is taking my 2000 Pontiac Sunfire and driving his friends to the club and bar… WITH MY CAR! I was never invited God. Why can’t I go out and be a part of his fun? I mean were not in a relationship but we should be.. right God?
Oh! Also, God there is this girl on twitter that seems to keep tweeting my man about how they spent time together this weekend. Is this true? If so I’m still sleeping all day until you wake up and tell me it’s just a dream because my life is over at 21 years old. I let this man sleep in my heart rent free and my apartment rent free.
So, wait God did he just leave me for the girl he said he wasn’t in love with? I thought he loved me? God do you love me? Because you let the best thing that ever happened to me walk out the door. God I’m pregnant and I can’t have any babies right now and I know it’s a sin to get rid of my child but I can’t have a baby with this man. Did he just leave me to go to the club while I’m in my recovery process of getting rid of our baby?
Oh God, you said you were never leave me lonely. How am I supposed to believe that when none of my friends understand me, my parents won’t talk to me and I’m flunking out of school. GOD SEND ME MY MAN BACK. He is mine and she can’t just take him away from me.
Two months later God sent him back to me only to show me that my two months alone were better than the 5 years I wasted trying to piece us back together. I needed God. I needed to see why I lost my faith, why God’s love was greater and why God wanted me to be alone.
I prayed day and night that God would break my bitter thoughts and bad habits out of my spirit. I needed to fall in love with myself and empower myself. I needed to live. It is so important queens that you wait and seek God with all your heart. You are the prize. You never chase after a man. The man that God has for you will come so easily to you. Nothing will be forced. The best love that I discovered was God’s love for me. He loves me despite my mistakes, flaws, sins, he forgives, he uplifts and the best thing women love is that HE LISTENS! I learned to never let any human void fill my God void. Nobody can take his place. Is it easy to recognize this? No. But God will break you down until you have no choice but to grow out of your misery. The Lord is good to those who seek him. Thank You God.